Looking Inward

by - Monday, July 02, 2018

I have been on a blog hiatus for the past one year and for good reasons. Somewhere, around the beginning of 2017, I was introspecting and thinking about things that have changed since the birth of my daughter. A lot of things changed for me quickly over the last 5 years and it was time for looking inward for me. There were many highs and many lows but I also realized I was surrounded by toxic people and relationships. I am an introvert so I can usually keep a hold on my feelings and the words that come out of my mouth. 

However, over the last few years, I have noticed that I get angry easily and that has nothing to do with my daughter. It has to do with the fact that this tiny little human being that has come into our lives is sometimes, so much more empathetic than so many grown-ups around me. It frustrates me and scares me that she will grow up in a world that is losing their ability to feel for anyone but themselves.

I have been angry and been vocal about how people misbehave around me for the past few years but I want to change that narrative. You see, when I introspected I also realized that the more I focus on other's flaws the more it affects me. For that matter, the more I turned the focus inwards, the more I realized that it is not my responsibility to make anyone happy. It is also none of my concern whether one behaves or chooses not to behave. 

The only person I can make happy is me. I can create moments, memories and situations that make someone else happy but who am I to judge if it is their very nature to seek sorrow. Some people seek sadness, some people seek other toxic people afraid to let them go and some people are always like to play the victim. If they refuse to change their behavior, You can continue trying to make them happy or realize that unless they understand the root cause of what's hurting them, you stand no chance. You have to be able to let them go. 

The last year has also taught me that you should always see the good in people unless they give you a reason not to. I needed a year to change the way I was expressing myself and I believe all the soul-searching has changed the way I make sure my voice is heard without stepping on someone's toes. If that's not enough, raising a spirited, sensitive kid will teach you how to get your point across steering clear of any tears and drama. 

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  1. I'm so glad you're blogging again, and that you've learnt so much to move forward from here on. xoxo